Sunday 14 May 2017

Money Saving Guidance

With cash boffin Ted Gash

With the economy going tits up quicker than a murdered hooker in the Dead Sea, it's important now more than ever to manage your finances and search for bargains. Fortunately, I am here to help.

Ted's Chambers in Hanley is home to Stoke's best barristers and is currently running a "family and lovers" special offer. If you use them for any criminal trial you have before the end of 2018, any relative or spouse who is also up in court within the same time frame will get 50% off their bill. It's always best to plan ahead.

Having sex is fun, so why let a lack of money restrict your possibilities? Condoms are pointless in the 21st Century, so don't bother with them. Either blast your load on your lady's titties or shag women who are unemployed and they can get the pill for free. Job done.

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