Sunday 19 February 2017

Fallout Makers Deny Copying Stoke

Bethesda Softworks, makers of the 'Fallout' video game series, have denied accusations that the games are a blatant rip off of life in Stoke.

"I recently played through Fallout 4," gamer Chubb Yates said. "On the PS4, not the Xbox One, I'm not a peasant. I noticed that the overworld of the game was incredibly similar to that of Longton. A bit too similar. More than is normal."

Longton, yesterday

"So I went back and played Fallout 3 and what did I find?" Chubb continued. "Norton, that's what."

Chubb contacted Bethesda employees on Twitter and got only one reply: "What is a Stoke?"

"Their silence speaks volumes," Chubb concluded. "I hope the city council quite literally sues the shit out of dem yankee bastards."

Saturday 4 February 2017

Crouchy's Autobiography To Be Preserved Forever

The Stoke Book Registry has announced that its 2017 selection is Peter Crouch's autobiography, 'Walking Tall: My Story'.

Every year, one important work of literature is selected to be preserved forever in the Library of Stoke.

"This is a massive honour for Crouchy," commented Stoke City season ticket holder Doris Ahmed, 105. "But well deserved. The book is a masterpiece, a journey into greatness, a tour de force of humanity AND humility, an experience so vivid one will feel like they are walking in Crouchy's shoes and seeing the world through his eyes."

The book follows the 2016 selection, 'A La Recherche du Temps Perdu' by Marcel Proust, and 2015's 'The Trial' by Franz Kafka.