Thursday 24 September 2015

Autumn Music Preview

Music fans know that the biggest time of the year for new album releases is autumn, so let’s look ahead to this year's most anticipated releases!... by local artists.

Bev Collies – "Super Busy"

Bev is known simply as "The Voice" by local music fans, who include Stoke's ruling Council of Elders, for whom she has performed on numerous occasions at Stoke state functions.

On her new album, the third part of her so-called 'Burslem Trilogy', Bev explores the dark side of human relationships, including songs about her time as a mercenary in the Congo and her six failed marriages. The deluxe edition of the CD includes five additional different versions of Carly Rae Jepsen's classic 'Call Me Maybe', including the freeform jazz cover already a hit on Stoke's club scene.

Ted Stumpies – "1989"

Ted's eleventh studio album, released on his own record label Ted's Boutique, is a song-for-song remake of Ryan Adams's song-for-song remake of Taylor Swift's "1989" album.

"I'm a big fan of Ryan's music," Ted explained. "I've already covered his cover of Oasis's 'Wonderwall', so this seemed like a natural step in my musical progression."

The Farmer's Conundrum – "The Ballad of Dave Holdcroft"

Stoke's number one folk band, now that The Queensberry Rules have split up, release their third album this year in late October. It features a host of popular folk standards including 'The Milk Maid's Bison', 'Ballad of the Bald Beardsmith', 'Ye Olde Bastard and the Drunken Butcher', as well as original songs like 'The Ghosts of Burslem Aldi', 'The Green, Green Grass of Fenton' and 'O'er the Valley I Did Lose My Oatcake'.

Barry Money – "Live at HMP Werrington"

Hailing from the country music stronghold of Stockton Brook, Barry's latest album sees him perform for inmates on death row at Stoke's notorious HMP Werrington.

Dropping classics like 'Shotgun Sharon' and 'Girl Named Barry' into his set along with new jams like 'The Hangman's Nissan', the crowd lap up Barry's performance right up until the end of the set, when they go on the rampage, killing guards and roadies with feverish abandon. The sound of the riot itself is only available as a pre-order bonus track on the digital download from Apple's iTunes store.

Tuesday 8 September 2015

Today's Sentinel Pulped Due To Printing Error

Three million copies of today's Evening Sentinel have had to be destroyed after a printing error lead to today's edition of The Daily Mail newspaper being printed off by mistake.

"This kind of thing happens all the time in the newspaper business," Sentinel editor-in-chief Barry Sentinel explained. "It's really not a big deal. Like, seriously."


"I only realised something was wrong when I noticed more pictures of posh society totty than normal," reader Scone Armatrading said. "I don't need to see bog-eyed girls with upturned werepig noses while I'm eating an oatcake."

"I didn't really see a difference," Peg Shifter commented.

"I thought it was funny there were no mentions of angry women from estates in Fegg Hayes getting ASBOs and shit," Big Dave Holdcroft added.

Copies of today's paper that were sold before the error was noticed have already become collector's items and are currently being sold on auction site eBay for thousands of pounds.