Sunday 7 September 2014

The Fappening: Stoke

It isn't just Hollywood stars like Jennifer Lawrence who have had their phones and online photo storage targeted by hackers, as some local celebrities can attest!

Pictures have now been released of Sue Gofton, city councillor for ethics and morals, which show her masturbating over the illegally obtained photos of Jennifer Lawrence that hit the internet last week. "These pics were private and uploaded to what I thought was a secure place," Cllr Gofton explained. "They were meant for private use so that I could download them and wank over them at a later unspecified date. They were not for other people to wank over."


Signal Gold breakfast co-host and former glamour model and occasional medium class escort Kimberley Scragg was shocked when she discovered pictures of herself getting spit-roasted by two strangers in a barn, while searching for pictures of herself on Tumblr. "Those pictures were private and were for future blackmail against the men involved. My privacy and future earnings have been ruined because of some pesky, horny kids."

Celebrities in Stoke have been urged to keep their private sex pics and tapes in less hackable places, such as pantries or lofts.

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