Monday 15 September 2014

Stoke Offers Troops To Scotland

Stoke's governing Council of Elders has offered the city's troops to Scotland if they are needed in the event of a war, should the northern state, famous for haggis, sectarian football violence and Billy Connollys, be successful in gaining independence from the rest of the UK.

The move could be viewed by some as an act of war by Stoke against England and the UK, but Council of Elders spokesman Kenny Badgers denies this.

Just what is it good for?

"What we have here is a classic case of misunderstanding," Mr Badgers said. "We just happen to be sending troops to Scotland on leave as the referendum is happening. Anything our brave boys choose do in their spare time there is up to them, whether it be to eat a deep fried Mars bar, take heroin or kill a load of English soldiers."

Stoke declared independence from the UK in 1974 but was defeated in the subsequent war leading to the uneasy alliance that continues to this day. The Council of Elders denies it is doing any of this to gain revenge on the UK

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