Monday 2 June 2014

Cockney Spotted In Stoke

Stokies have been warned to be on the lookout after reports that a Cockney was spotted in the city centre last night.

"I definitely heard one at The Reginald Mitchell," Mandy Fistsock said. "It was saying stuff like 'guv'nor', 'wassup' and 'lovely jubbly'. It was a horrible abuse of the English language. I just left and never looked back."


"There has been more crime lately than normal," PC Barry Shanks of Staffordshire Police said. "We attributed it to the half term school holidays, but a cockney on the loose would make much more sense. When we finally catch it, we can probably also link it to any unsolved crimes since its been in the area too."

"If you see a cockney, do not approach it," PC Shanks warns. "Call the police and get well away from it."

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