Tax The Stupid

By Dick Mellor

I see that David Cameron is complaining about the cost of the new England football shirt being £90. He's right to complain too, as the pricing is all wrong; but not too high as Dave says, they should cost much more!

I'm sick of seeing fat-bellied, slack-jawed, cock-eyed mongrels wearing leisure wear as they go about their lack of business. We all know who buys football shirts: the scroungers, the chavs, the drug dealers, the kind of people you see walking around in tracky trousers spitting on pavements for no reason. The scum of the Earth, basically.

I would create a special tax just to put on football shirts. I would even call it the "tax on the stupid" because I know that most football fans are too retarded to notice and too lazy to have ever done a hard days work in their life or have paid any tax themselves, other than the tax they pay on fags and booze of course.

*Dick's review of the 2013-2014 tax year is now available for Kindle from Dick Mellor Publishing Corp.