EYE ON STOKE Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

EYE ON STOKE (and the rest of the EU) has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2012.

Chief Executive Monty Deschanel is overjoyed with the award. "EYE ON STOKE's work in trying to reunite the warring gangs of North and South Longton has been a clear influence on the judging panel, though I would have liked to have won the Nobel Prize for Journalism as well. Or at least have gotten a nomination."

EYE ON STOKE joins such illustrious names as Shimon Peres, Henry Kissinger and Adolf Hitler in winning the prize. A star-studded awards ceremony hosted by Jimmy Carr and Amy Childs will take place in Oslo in December.

"I'd like to thank everyone who voted for us to win this award," added Mr Deschanel. "And I'd like to add that I hope those Toblerone-munching neutral Swiss bastards are kicking themselves right about now because they could have been a part of this award too. Suckers."