We have had a lot of requests from readers in the Staffordshire Moorlands asking for news for the region as the news sources there are "gobshittingly fuckwitted" and "an offence to anyone with more than one brain cell". So, due to popular demand...
SMUC Call Strike
The Staffordshire Moorlands Union of Corn Worshippers (SMUC) have called a general strike for 22 December following a vote by members.
"The reasons for this strike are many and numerous and plenty and nothing to do with getting an extra day Christmas shopping for our members," SMUC general secretary Andy Caravan said in a statement.
Farmers Charity Night
The annual Leek Farmers' Charity Night was a rousing success, raising £81 for bald children. The Wanking For Charity event, held at The Big Barn, saw a massive turnout of local farmers and their sister wives.
The main raffle prize, a scarecrow with the face of a Frenchman, was won by Durlit Cockspike.